Cute Things My Kid Says

Said With Feeling While Fast Asleep

2012-02-06T15:57:00.001-08:00

Don't tell me what I need! I need a harpoon!!!

Important Middle of the Night Questions

2012-01-22T18:48:00.000-08:00

Dad! Dad! DAD! So.....do you like......things?

Answer Key: No, No, Yes

2012-01-05T19:10:00.001-08:00

Did you ever have bedbugs? Did dad ever have bedbugs? Is that why you guys got married???

Yelled in the Elementary School Office

2011-11-17T08:20:00.000-08:00

I gave my dad the finger this morning!

I Just Asked Him To Eat Breakfast!

2011-08-19T14:55:00.001-07:00

Why me??? WHYYYYY MEEEEEEEEE??!!!!!

I Didn't Need To Know This At 4:19 AM

2011-08-15T16:46:00.001-07:00

Mom! Mom! I just wanted to tell you that your hair smells really good!

MORTIFYING Things My Kid Says: WE WON'T BE GOING BACK TO THIS HAIRCUT PLACE

2011-07-22T13:22:00.000-07:00

HEY! Less of THIS [makes talking motion with fingers] and more of THIS [makes scissor snipping motion with fingers]!

Yelled in Target Near Someone Who Had Obviously Just Farted

2011-06-11T18:36:00.001-07:00

Ugh! Mom! MOM! It smells TERRIBLE in this aisle!

Slurred at 1:00 am, mostly asleep, while peeing everywhere in the bathroom

2011-05-14T16:52:00.000-07:00

That's the price you pay!

It Explains A Lot, Actually

2011-05-13T14:41:00.001-07:00

Mom! I'm 5 years old! I pretty much always have to go to the bathroom.

HORMONES!

2011-05-06T10:09:00.001-07:00

Mom! Do the Ramones make men grow beards on their face?

He Was Looking at Thimbles

2011-04-05T13:35:00.001-07:00

Mom! Where did you get all this finger armor??!!!

Liz Lemonning - He Was Pointing to an ad for Wine

2011-03-24T13:37:00.000-07:00

Mom! MOM! I found something in this magazine you like!

So one of you is rich? And can drive?

2011-03-14T11:20:00.000-07:00

I want to multiply myself! Then one of me could go to school, one could be buying video games, one could be sleeping, and one could be in trouble.

She Wants to be Your Friend?

2011-03-14T11:18:00.000-07:00

Savannah has a crush on me! She told me she has a crush on me!

What's a crush?

Said to grandpa

2011-02-11T13:16:00.000-08:00

So, Larry... Do you know karate?

First Thing in the Morning

2011-01-29T09:07:00.000-08:00

So, Mom... we meet again.

My Mother's Movie Reviews

2011-01-12T14:30:00.000-08:00

Sadly, my mother is no longer with us. Her movie reviews, however, are with us forever. ENJOY!

A FEW GOOD MEN: "How can one man be THAT good looking?"

SCENT OF A WOMAN: "I didn't like the whole idea of that movie....you know....(loud whisper) smelling women."

My Husband's Regional Musings

2011-01-07T14:22:00.001-08:00

"People from the North East don't travel for weddings."

Um, thanks? I guess?

2011-01-07T14:14:00.000-08:00

Mom! I really like your bumpy skin! It's one of the things I love about you the best!

So.....a Liberal Arts major?

2011-01-07T14:11:00.001-08:00

Future careers under consideration:

Toy reviewer

Video game player

Bakugan collector

Scuba diver

One is the same

2011-01-07T14:09:00.001-08:00

My resolutions:

1. Go to sleep earlier
2. Wake up earlier
3. Eat healthier

My kid's resolutions:

1. Stay up later
2. Wake up earlier
3. Eat more sweets

2010 Finally!

2010-01-02T00:27:00.001-08:00

Let's be frank: 2009 was not a good year. Sure, a lot of cute things were said, but other than that, it pretty much sucked the big one. I am nestled in the sweet spot right between "need to eat Mexican food to abate low level depression" and "need to drive to a Mexican pharmacy for low cost horse tranquilizers."

Also, honestly, my kid doesn't say as many cute things as he used to. I think this is because he is a genius and so now that he is almost 4, most of the things he says are either totally rational, or so convoluted that they would require pages of explanation. (Such as knowledge of all of the tertiary characters in the Clone Wars. Ugh.)

My New Year's resolution (one of many) is to post more often and not limit myself to CTMKS. I mean I say cute things too! Well, I say things. Also I have seriously neglected posting many of my husband's regional musings. Explosive items to come!

If you must know, my OTHER New Year's resolutions are:

1. Lose 20 pounds.

2. Following loss of 20 pounds, immediately gain 50 pounds.

3. Have baby. Lose 50 pounds.

4. Move.

5. Buy items I do not immediately regret.

6. Be nicer to people.

Other stuff too.

LA Law Reunion Show Idea

2009-11-20T22:07:00.000-08:00

Batman, Scooby Doo, Shaggy, Fred and Velma go into a dark room. There is a skeleton! But then they pull of the mask. It's Jimmy Smits!

Well, Miss Spears? Which is it?

2009-11-08T21:11:00.000-08:00

Wait...did the baby hit her? Or is she hitting the baby?

Friends - They're the worst!

2009-10-14T12:39:00.000-07:00

I don't like Jacob any more. I don't like his attitude.

We Interrupt Cute Things to bring you My Husband's Regional Musings

2009-09-25T15:13:00.001-07:00

My husband, who grew up on the east coast and now lives on the west, is a veritable font of knowledge on the habits and ways of what he calls the People From the North East. As a public service, I will share these thoughts with you on a semi-regular basis.

Today's musing concerns vegetables, as it came up during a conversation about what those things are called that you stick in the ends of corn on the cob*:

"People From the North East really love seasonal vegetables."

*corn holders

Somewhere Bee-utiful, of course

2009-09-25T14:14:00.000-07:00

Where did you and dad go on your honeycomb?

Memo to Walt Disney

2009-08-08T14:08:00.000-07:00

I liked everything about "Pirates of the Caribbean" except the pirates.

Top Chef, Jr.

2009-08-01T20:37:00.002-07:00

Ravioli is the new noodles! I'm going to want this all the time!

Not Just About Cookies

2009-08-01T20:37:00.001-07:00

I don't like sharing! I like taking!

That's DOCTOR Hot Rod to you

2009-07-28T14:00:00.000-07:00

I want a new name... change my name to Hot Rod.

Comic Strip Subtext

2009-07-26T00:50:00.001-07:00

Do you think Green Goblin is sexy?

Star Wars - The Parts Between the Battles

2009-07-18T19:03:00.001-07:00

Mom! Pretend you're Darth Vader and you're making dinner for the Empire!

Introduction!

2009-07-18T18:55:00.000-07:00

Hi! I have a 3-year old son who says cute things all the time. I always think...oh! I should write that down! But I never do (tears). So now I'm going to type them all up!

The funniest thing he ever said (so far) happened about two months ago. He was asking me a lot of questions about body parts, boys, girls, babies, etc. (I thought 3 was too young for this?) Anyhoo, the questions started getting a little too detailed. So I started deflecting, saying things like "I don't remember!" or "Let's google that!". Finally, I shut everything down with the comment "That's a long story. Want to make French Toast?". (Note - French Toast solves everything.)

So, a couple of days later, I was sitting on the couch, and my son sidled up to me and asked in the sweetest voice imaginable, "Mom? Can you tell me a long story about your vagina?"