While Watching "Mary Poppins"

So.... is this like Downton Abbey for kids?

OK, But It's 6 AM

Mom!  I'm really enjoying this quality time together!

Divorce Explained

It's like there's two peas in a pot.  Then one pea gets out of the pot and gets in a different pot with some carrots.

Almost Too Perfect

Kid:  Mom!  Stop it!  You're making me feel paranoid!

Me:  What?  Do you even know what that word means?

Kid:  No!  I don't!  Because NO ONE WILL TELL ME!

Argument Time!

Dad:  Sit down!  I told you to settle down!

Kid:  I can't!  My body just has to dance!  This is my JAM!

Dad:  No!  The theme song to "Sonic Underground" is NOT your jam!

Good Morning!

Mom?  Mom?  Um.....I think I sort of had a poo accident?

Annual Checkup

Is the doctor going to put a needle in my chesticles?

Had a Small Red Bump on His Face

What's the point of living if you're not beautiful???

Said With Feeling While Fast Asleep

Don't tell me what I need!  I need a harpoon!!!

Important Middle of the Night Questions

Dad!  Dad!  DAD!  So.....do you like......things?

Answer Key: No, No, Yes

Did you ever have bedbugs?  Did dad ever have bedbugs?  Is that why you guys got married???

Yelled in the Elementary School Office

I gave my dad the finger this morning!

I Just Asked Him To Eat Breakfast!

Why me???  WHYYYYY MEEEEEEEEE??!!!!!

I Didn't Need To Know This At 4:19 AM

Mom!  Mom!  I just wanted to tell you that your hair smells really good!

MORTIFYING Things My Kid Says: WE WON'T BE GOING BACK TO THIS HAIRCUT PLACE

HEY!  Less of THIS [makes talking motion with fingers] and more of THIS [makes scissor snipping motion with fingers]!

Yelled in Target Near Someone Who Had Obviously Just Farted

Ugh!  Mom!  MOM!  It smells TERRIBLE in this aisle!

Slurred at 1:00 am, mostly asleep, while peeing everywhere in the bathroom

That's the price you pay!

It Explains A Lot, Actually

Mom!  I'm 5 years old!  I pretty much always have to go to the bathroom.

HORMONES!

Mom!  Do the Ramones make men grow beards on their face?

He Was Looking at Thimbles

Mom!  Where did you get all this finger armor??!!!