Yelled in the Elementary School Office

I gave my dad the finger this morning!

I Just Asked Him To Eat Breakfast!

Why me???  WHYYYYY MEEEEEEEEE??!!!!!

I Didn't Need To Know This At 4:19 AM

Mom!  Mom!  I just wanted to tell you that your hair smells really good!

MORTIFYING Things My Kid Says: WE WON'T BE GOING BACK TO THIS HAIRCUT PLACE

HEY!  Less of THIS [makes talking motion with fingers] and more of THIS [makes scissor snipping motion with fingers]!

Yelled in Target Near Someone Who Had Obviously Just Farted

Ugh!  Mom!  MOM!  It smells TERRIBLE in this aisle!

Slurred at 1:00 am, mostly asleep, while peeing everywhere in the bathroom

That's the price you pay!

It Explains A Lot, Actually

Mom!  I'm 5 years old!  I pretty much always have to go to the bathroom.

HORMONES!

Mom!  Do the Ramones make men grow beards on their face?

He Was Looking at Thimbles

Mom!  Where did you get all this finger armor??!!!

Liz Lemonning - He Was Pointing to an ad for Wine

Mom!  MOM!  I found something in this magazine you like!

So one of you is rich? And can drive?

I want to multiply myself!  Then one of me could go to school, one could be buying video games, one could be sleeping, and one could be in trouble. 

She Wants to be Your Friend?

Savannah has a crush on me!  She told me she has a crush on me! 

What's a crush?

Said to grandpa

So, Larry...  Do you know karate?

First Thing in the Morning

So, Mom... we meet again.

My Mother's Movie Reviews

Sadly, my mother is no longer with us. Her movie reviews, however, are with us forever. ENJOY!

A FEW GOOD MEN:  "How can one man be THAT good looking?"

SCENT OF A WOMAN:   "I didn't like the whole idea of that movie....you know....(loud whisper) smelling women."

My Husband's Regional Musings

"People from the North East don't travel for weddings."

Um, thanks? I guess?

Mom! I really like your bumpy skin! It's one of the things I love about you the best!

So.....a Liberal Arts major?

Future careers under consideration:


Toy reviewer

Video game player

Bakugan collector

Scuba diver

One is the same

My resolutions:

1. Go to sleep earlier
2. Wake up earlier
3. Eat healthier

My kid's resolutions:

1. Stay up later
2. Wake up earlier
3. Eat more sweets