OK, But It's 6 AM

Mom!  I'm really enjoying this quality time together!

Divorce Explained

It's like there's two peas in a pot.  Then one pea gets out of the pot and gets in a different pot with some carrots.

Almost Too Perfect

Kid:  Mom!  Stop it!  You're making me feel paranoid!

Me:  What?  Do you even know what that word means?

Kid:  No!  I don't!  Because NO ONE WILL TELL ME!

Argument Time!

Dad:  Sit down!  I told you to settle down!

Kid:  I can't!  My body just has to dance!  This is my JAM!

Dad:  No!  The theme song to "Sonic Underground" is NOT your jam!

Good Morning!

Mom?  Mom?  Um.....I think I sort of had a poo accident?

Annual Checkup

Is the doctor going to put a needle in my chesticles?

Had a Small Red Bump on His Face

What's the point of living if you're not beautiful???

Said With Feeling While Fast Asleep

Don't tell me what I need!  I need a harpoon!!!

Important Middle of the Night Questions

Dad!  Dad!  DAD!  So.....do you like......things?

Answer Key: No, No, Yes

Did you ever have bedbugs?  Did dad ever have bedbugs?  Is that why you guys got married???